General Training Task 1 Band 6 sample answer 2

The answer below has been rated based on the public IELTS descriptors. Click the word or words in red to see the correction, and scroll to the bottom of the page to read our comments on the letter.


You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

You are a member of your college/university library and have recently received an email from them asking you to return overdue books that you had actually never borrowed.

Write a letter to the librarian. In your letter:

  • explain the situation
  • say what you would like them to do
  • ask if this problem will affect your library membership

Write at least 150 words.

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear………………………


Dear Sir or Madam,

I’m a student member of [expand title=”university” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”‘] ‘the university'[/expand] library. I [expand title=”received” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”‘] ‘have received'[/expand] an email from the library requesting proper action on a novel called ‘Hero’ which [expand title=”borrowing due date has been over for a while” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”‘] restructure this to ‘is now beyond its return date'[/expand]. I was [expand title=”very puzzled” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”‘] ‘surprised'[/expand] when [expand title=”read” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”‘] ‘I read'[/expand] this e-mail, because I [expand title=”had never loaned” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”‘] ‘have never borrowed'[/expand] this book. In the notification letter, only [expand title=”mentioned my name” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”‘] ‘my name is referred to'[/expand][expand title=”,did” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”‘] ‘but it did'[/expand] not indicate any membership [expand title=”number” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”‘] delete this – ‘number’ is given at the end of the sentence[/expand] or identification number. As Susan Gate is a very common name, I’m [expand title=”wonderring” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”‘] ‘wondering'[/expand] if you [expand title=”send” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”‘] ‘sent'[/expand] the letter to [expand title=”a” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”‘] ‘the'[/expand] wrong person?

I would like to have [expand title=”details” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”‘] ‘further details'[/expand] on this matter; could you check your computer system again? If possbile, please give me a call to advise contact person, appointment date and time. My mobile number is 9230-1234.

Will my membership be suspended due to this matter? [expand title=”” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”‘] Combine this paragraph and the next[/expand]

I’m in the midst [expand title=”to complete” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”‘] ‘of completing'[/expand] my final thesis, thus [expand title=”do” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”‘] delete this[/expand] need to borrow books from library.

I’m looking forward to hearing your response at your earliest convenience.

Thank you very much[expand title=”!” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”‘] Change this to a full stop – exclamation marks are not suitable for a formal or semi formal letter[/expand]

Yours faithfully,

Susan Gate

(169 words)


Comments:

There are many instances where the register (tone) of the letter is unsuitable. The situation requires a formal or semi formal tone, so the use of exclamation marks ( ! ) and informal language (‘over for a while’) is inappropriate.

There are a number of errors with tense and articles usage (‘if you send the letter to a wrong person’) which sometimes make the meaning unclear.

The paragraphing format is a little unclear, with one long paragraph to begin then a series of short paragraphs.

However, some of the vocabulary used is good (‘Will my membership be suspended due to this matter? ‘).