General Training Task 1 Band 5 sample answer 1

Band score: approximately 5.0

The answer below has been rated based on the public IELTS descriptors. Click the word or words in red to see the correction, and scroll to the bottom of the page to read our comments on the report.


You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

You recently became a member of your local leisure centre but you are unhappy with the services and facilities.

Write a letter to the Centre Manager. In your letter:

  • explain the circumstances
  • say why you are dissatisfied
  • what action you would like the leisure centre to take

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear………………………

Write at least 150 words.


Dear Sir,

Kindly note, that [expand title=”i” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”] [‘I’ (capital letter)][/expand] [expand title=”have joined” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”] [use only ‘joined’ because you are referring to a past time – last week][/expand] your center last week aiming [expand title=”of spending” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”] [‘to spend’][/expand] my [expand title=”liesure” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”] [‘leisure’][/expand] time in socializing and creating new friendships.

During my visit to the center yesterday [expand title=”i’ve” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”] [capital ‘I’ and delete ‘ve – again this refers to a past time (yesterday) so the present perfect doesn’t fit][/expand] experienced a very awkward situation with one of the center staff[expand title=”,” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”] [this would be better as a full stop and starting a new sentence][/expand] [expand title=”i” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”] [capital ‘I’][/expand] was practicing on one of the [expand title=”Gem” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”] [‘gym’ (no capital letter plus spelling)][/expand] machines [expand title=”where” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”] [‘when’][/expand] the supervisor approached me and in a very rude way he informed me to stop using the machine and to leave the [expand title=”Gem” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”] [‘gym’ (no capital letter plus spelling)][/expand] so he can close it but it was 10 minutes before offical closure time.[expand title=”” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”] [This sentence is much too long and needs to be broken into smaller sections to be more accurate][/expand] when I tried to [expand title=”told” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”] [‘tell’][/expand] him that I still [expand title=”have” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”] [‘had’][/expand] 10 minutes according to the [expand title=”Gem” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”] [‘gym’ (no capital letter plus spelling)][/expand] rules, [expand title=”He” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”] [‘he’ – no need for a capital ‘H’][/expand] insisted that I should leave at once in the [expand title=”same unacceptable attitude” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”] [either ‘with the same unacceptable attitude’ or ‘in the same unacceptable tone’][/expand].

That behavior was [expand title=”shock” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”] [‘a shock’][/expand] to me as he didn’t only [expand title=”broke” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”] [‘break’][/expand] the [expand title=”Gem” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”] [‘gym’ (no capital letter plus spelling)][/expand] rules but he was not polite and didn’t follow any business etiquette in communicating with customers.

I think the center should enroll their [expand title=”staffs” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”] [‘staff’][/expand] in [expand title=”a customer service courses” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”] [either ‘in a customer service course‘ or ‘in customer service courses‘][/expand] to enhance their abilities in [expand title=”communicating with customers” tag=”span” targtag=”span” targpos=”inline” trigclass=”my_trigger span_fix noarrow” targclass=”span_fix”] [this is a repetition of the last line from the previous paragraph][/expand].

Sincerely

Eric Van Deen

(175 words)


Comments:

There are repeated issues with spelling (‘Gem’ for gym) and inappropriate use of capital letters.

Some sentences are overly long and the meaning is unclear or irrelevant to the topic. The writer has not used linking words effectively and punctuation is weak.

Grammar errors are common (‘Yesterday I’ve’), and paragraphing is not clear.